The Countdown Begins...

The countdown to handing the notice in continues....and I'm beginning to get a bit nervous. ooooo. One and a half days left this week at work and then there is the decision: after my 2 weeks off, I come back on the monday (pay day and bonus paid in day). Do I

1) hand my notice in on that monday???

2) wait until the tuesday, so I dont look like I'm just waiting for my pay and bonus (which really I am)???

and then there's the resignation letter..... Going to have to do some research on that one but I welcome any suggestions!

They Don't work

I was still struggling to get the right paperwork sent for my Spanish police check - this time the photocopy of my passport wasn't signed/stamped by a solicitor. Fine I thought, I can get LLB to get one of the guys at work to do it but no, they don't know me so won't do it.
Having never had to use a solicitor yet in my life for anything, I called my dad for some advice.

Now when horse and I were together, our parents got on really well and his dad ended up doing a lot of legal work for my dad's business, my dad still uses him and I think you can gather where this is going.

The last time I was in that office was A level results day - he had a bucket of champagne on ice waiting for us both :) A bag of nerves I went in then, waiting to open our results in front of him. This time I was a bag of nerves as well....nervous to see him again after so long, and to see the pictures on his wall of all the family.

He didn't really mention horse, and as much as I wanted to ask him everything about what he was up to, if he had a girlfriend, what she was like, I held back. He gave me a big hug as I left. I sat in my car, and cried. I cried because all the time that I was in there talking to him and getting the signatures and stamps, I could see the picture on his desk of horse and I realised that I still really missed him. But why??? why why why after everything that went on and why when I'm happy with LLB?

Since then every night I have been dreaming about him.....and it's really thrown me in my tracks

No Regrets

So that was me bringing you up to date with my current relationship status. LLB and I have been together now for 4 years (on and off). which is quite scary to think of being with someone for that long. and I do stress that it was very much on and off for a while. The off leading me to date a really wanker (i was on the rebound), and then get back with LLB again.

Now, if you have read my earlier posts you will have read about horse. My first boyfriend and only other time I'd been in love - my first love really actually. Despite it all ending, and the awkward stages thereafter, I couldnt help but accept his friend request on facebook a while ago and yes, I did set my settings so he could only see the albums I looked decent in and did censor my relationship status from him. However when you live in a smallish town and have a lot of mutual friends, word does get round of each other current status. If there's nothing worse than having friends, male or female, telling yo you're making a mistake with your current love interest, it's probably having your ex telling you this....and being right. Whilst I used to get a kick out of him knowing I was seeing someone else, I was always curious to know if his regular texts were generally out of concern or jealousy, and would always get that lump in the throat when the love intrest would start going skewiff, thinking he was right.

I'd probably say that right now things are going really very well with LLB. It's been ages since our last argument and I do feel quite in love. He even stayed my friend after me getting frightfully drunk at a wedding last night, falling down some stairs, and blaming him for pushing me. Love? He paid for a taxi for us to the other side of london, just so I could visit primrose bakery and couldnt face the tube hungover. Love?

But last week something happened that has really thrown me somewhat and is constantly in the back of my mind...

To this day I still don't have an answer as to why I was fully clothed and he was semi naked. He tells me it was because jeans are uncomfortable to sleep in. I'm hoping it was that and not a case of me ordering him to get undressed for a bit of action...then falling asleep myself, which could have well been a possibility.

We continued seeing each other until the end of term...he picked my up at the airport when I came back from NYE party in Paris, with a sign for "Miss Hicks". winner.

I met his parents, he met mine. They loved me, mine didn't love him. negative.

We partied together until the early hours, we went out and had nice meals together. positive.

We got drunk, and argued like hell. negative.

He made me cry....a lot.

I ended after 5 months of being totally and utterly exhausted from all the fighting. positive.

2 months later, he came back crawling.

he sent me flowers. i cut them up and returned to sender.

i made him beg + work. he WORKED! positive. (seriously milked all i could at this stage.)

he went back to uni to continue his legal training.

he grew up and shook off his uni bad boy attitude.

I fell back in Love, with LLB

The morning after the night before

10am, late for a lecture and trying to piece together last night..judging by the amount of bodies in our lounge, and empty bottles falling out the bin it must have ended with us inviting back a plethora of people coming back for an after party, and 3 pairs of heels that I didn't recognise, Hunter must have been "entertaining".

Halfway through a lecture my phone started vibrating - 2 new messages

Hunter: "bring me back some lucozade" nice.

Dumper: "so are you going to come on a date with me again - promise not to stand you up this time"

It seems we swapped numbers- and saved him under "dumper"

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Not wanting to seem like a keen bean (even though I totally was), I left it until the evening to text back.

"As long as it's not to see the Truman Show again"

immediate text back - he must be keen

" drinks on sunday at the ruby lounge?, 7pm see u there"

Sunday came round, and major butterflies in le tum! and what to wear for sunday drinks???? once the wardrobe had been turned upside down and the leopard print boots were donned, I made my way into the ruby lounge. THERE WAS NO ONE THERE, apart from dumper himself, looking quite cool in a coral coloured top and nice jeans. (didn't get a chance to look at his shoes.)

The conversation was actually quite awkward and there were lots of long pauses.... which led me fill those with rather long sips of my drink and later, a suggestion to go to a club. yes. a club, on a sunday.

By this time I was quite tipsy, and didn't really care if I didn't see him again so I thought, fuck it let's just get trashed and dance.

****

The following morning I woke up in my bed fully clothed, even down to my boots and scarf. Then I felt a strange presence in my room, and as i turned over there was a semi naked male body in my bed..............................

Supporting Local Business

This is completely off the topic, but I had to share with you.

Last night I went on a walk and on passing one of the houses, were two little girls, I'd probably say about 7 years old, who had set up a stall selling various hand made stationary gifts.

I was quite intrigued, and purchased a heart shape postcard, that had the pencil drawn, uneven lines on, and a blob showing where to put your stamp. at 10p, I thought this was a great bargain, and the whole shopping experience was the best I've had for a long time.

I was even offered a handmade bag, and flyer. The flyer is the picture at the top! I absolutely love the spelling mistakes!

Are you Anna Hicks?

So there I was...final year...out on the town and enjoying my night, then a feel a prod in the back and a tall devilishly disheveld hunk gyrating around my chair;

"Are you Anna Hicks?"

several things sprung to mind:
1) this guy has a really cool pink pinstripe blazer on, and is able to pull it off well.
2) why is he gyrating around my chair, and not my leg? it was like some kind of tribal come on
3) am i really drunk, or did this stranger just mention my name?
4) hang on, how does this guy know my name??
5) what have I done, for him to know my name?
6) panic.. oh god do I now have a reputation, for being a bit of a ho?
7) is my name on the toilet doors? for a good time call Anna???
8) no, no how would he know I was Anna by just a phone number
9) this guy is still gyrating, and looking good, is it the blazer, do I fancy him? am I drunk??

Me: "eermm yes, yes I am Anna Hicks, how do you know my name...."
Him: turning to his friends "oh my god I knew it was her!"
Me: "right ok, still don't get it - what is your deal" (getting really frustrated and paranoid)
Him: "Oh my god Anna, it's me... I stood you up on a date when we were like 15"

my life flashed back rapidly to being 15, alone and heartbroken outside the cinema, and now the doosh is stood in front of me, at 22, older, better looking (no highlighted curtians, but some cool designer stuble going on now) and quite keen to get into some close contacted chatting.

But he still stood me up, and had announced this to his friends, and mine, in the middle of a busy bar. Thanks. What does one say to such a welcoming chat up line?

option 1: "yeah, you did me a favour to stay away from pricks like you. dick head"I dind't want to come accross as the scorned 15 year old who still hadn't got over it though

option 2: "really, so, you better get me a drink then now to make up for it!" too cheesy?


I didn't go for either of the above, instead I downed a shot that had been waiting for me, and headed to the dancefloor....keeping my eye on him.

I could see he was talking about me to his friends, and smiling at me. As much as I wanted to hate him for doing that to me, I really wanted more of him